My Life Is Now A Total WTF Moment
by NZPavlova
Summary: Lee Butler was an ordinary New Zealander. Yeah, WAS. But ever since Canada arrived in a crate, everything's just been weird. I mean, she does have a personified country living in her house! But there are more nations to arrive. Lee should be scared.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **OK people! I know I should be working on my series of one shots about New Zealand, but I've been meaning to start this for ages too. So no flaming please, even though I'm sure you have no idea what I'm going about. Anyway.

So this is based off LolliDictator's Hetalia User Manuals. I'm not doing them in order, nor am I doing all of them. Just my favourites. lol

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hetalia, or the Hetalia Manuals. But I own the story and Lee Butler.

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**My Life Has Just Turned Into One Of Those WTF Moments - Chapter 1**

OK, so get this: You're sitting at the computer in the lounge, playing the most awesome game ever, which happens to be Tetris, listening to awesome music that's been turned way up. Then, your doorbell rings. You turn around to look out the big front window and see a small red truck parked up next to the curb. There's something odd about this van though. On the side you see the words "FMB Unit Delivery" done in this really cool graphic. So, naturally, you get up to see what this person wants with you, after pausing the awesome music, of course. When you get to the front door you see a woman standing there with a tall crate.

What you just witnessed, reader, is what just happened to me. I'm standing there, staring at this woman wearing mint green bunny ears on her head and little mint green angel wings on her back. And I'm just thinking, _'What does this woman want with me?'_

And, as if to answer my question, she says, "Good afternoon. If you'll sign here, I can hand over your first Hetalia Unit."

All I end up doing is staring at her like she's crazy. Hetalia? What the hell is Hetalia? "Um… I'm sorry, but I didn't order this… _unit._" I say the last word uncertainly.

She smiles and replies, "You didn't have to. Hetalia Units are totally free and are delivered randomly, whether you know what they are or not." This woman seems way too happy for her own good. "So sign here and I'll bring it inside for you."

"OK, I give up." I sigh, taking the clipboard. I write my signature while she heaves the crate inside.

"Where you like me to put it?" she asks.

"In the lounge, I guess."

"If you could show me the way?"

"Sure." So I lead her around the corner and she lowers the crate in the middle of the lounge.

"And here is the user guide. You'll definitely need it if you want to stay sane." OK, her happy and cheerful voice is really starting to annoy me.

"OK… But one last thing before you leave."

"What would that be?"

"What's Hetalia?"

"Something you'll have to Google." I now have the sudden urge to face-palm. But I don't. Don't want to seem insane in front of the mailwoman now, do I? Of course not.

"Alright, well, thanks for unit, I think." I say as we start walking back towards the front door.

"You can tell me if you like it or not in three to five business days."

"You're coming back?" I nearly yell.

"Yes. You have more units to receive."

"Oh God, no."

She nods. "Yup."

"But I don't even know what these things are!" I whine.

"You will soon. And let's just say, living in a fairly large house won't be a bad thing."

"Uh, well, bye then."

"Bye!" And I shut the shut the door.

"Alright Google, what am I getting myself into?" I say as I sit back at the computer, exiting my game of Tetris.

I open Mozilla FireFox and go to Google. I type in Hetalia, and look at what comes up in the drop-down bar. "Ooh, it says Hetalia New Zealand! Gotta click it." So I click on it. It comes up with images, but I can't tell if it's fanart or official drawings, or what. But I do see this really cute one in grey scale, and another one with a sheep and the New Zealand flag hanging over a tree branch. It's really cute too.

I look at the link below the images and see the words _'__List of minor characters __in __Hetalia__: Axis Powers - __Hetalia __Archives'_ "So New Zealand is minor character? Wait… IT'S ABOUT COUNTRIES?" I yell. I'm already starting to like this Hetalia thing. "Hang on… So I might have a… a _country_ in that crate?" I click the link.

'_This is a list of minor characters in __Hetalia: Axis Powers__. These characters often do not appear within the manga or anime, but are drawn in official artwork or sketches, or are referenced in official materials. Some of these characters are also not specifically any sort of nation or kingdom, but simply other minor characters in the series (such as__ Shinatty__).'_

That's what it says on the page. I read it again, and notice to key words: _'Manga'_ and _'Anime'_.

I know you don't know anything about me, like where I live, my name, and other such things. But one thing I like people knowing about me is that I absolutely love anime and manga. And I mean LOVE. It's in all caps for a reason, by the way.

So yeah. But my current favorite anime-slash-manga is definitely FMA, or Fullmetal Alchemist. Watch it. I dare you.

Anyway! I scroll down and find New Zealand under the _'Other Nations'_ heading. I read what it says and I think back to the image of the little person with the sheep in grey scale. "Maybe that's the one?" I think out loud. Scrolling down again, I read little bits of information about other random minor characters. I have to admit, it sounds pretty interesting.

And in case you haven't already realised, I'm from New Zealand. Wellington, to be exact.

When I get to last country, I'm about to get up when I notice images. So I scroll down some more, reading each caption to see if any mention New Zealand. One does, and it's the grey scale one from earlier! That makes me happy.

I get up and start wondering if I could possibly have gotten a New Zealand Unit. That would be awesome! So I grab the user guide thingy and read the front. It says _'MATTHEW WILLIAMS – User Guide and Manual'_.

"Matthew Williams? Who's that, I wonder?" So I type it into the website's search bar. "Oh, it's Canada. Cool! And he's so cute!" You know, in that "Look at me, I'm a puppy!" kind of way.

Speaking of puppies, my adorable little puppy trots into the lounge. "Den! There you are!" Yup, that's right; I've named her after Den on FMA. Hah, creative, I know. She doesn't look much like the original Den; she's actually a German shepherd. I'd love a husky though. They're so gorgeous~!

I hold out my hand for her and she bounds over to me. I pick her up, cradling her in my arms and walk over to where I had placed the user guide. Holding Den in one arm, and grabbing the user guide with the other, I sit back down, put Den in my lap and flip through the pages, reading any information I find necessary. Before long though, Den jumps out of my lap, goes over to the crate and starts barking.

"Den! Quit it. Come here." I growl, but she doesn't stop. She just keeps barking no matter what I say or do, so I put her outside to play. But before I can get back inside, she's sprinted back into the lounge, once again barking at the crate.

I'm about to sigh and pick her up again, but I hear a noise coming from inside the crate. Naturally, I just think it's a stowaway mouse or something. Then, after the noise, there comes a groaning sound.

"That's not right." I say, picking Den up again. I slowly back away from the box, Den barking in my arms all the while.

"What on Earth is with that noise?" The voice is very soft and barely audible, and is coming from inside the crate. Slowly, I take a few steps back toward it. "C-Canada…?" I ask in an equally soft voice.

A yell. "Who's there?" the soft voice demands.

"Uh… My name is Lee Butler."

"Oh… Where am I? Why is it dark in here?"

"You're in a crate in the middle of my lounge." I reply nervously. I have no idea what he's like, so it's always best to be careful.

"Can you let me out?" he asks. I place Den (who isn't barking anymore) on the carpet. She sits there watching me open the wooden crate.

Canada's a little wary of me and my puppy as he steps out, looking around the room. He sees me watching him walk around and stops, staring back at me. "Can you see me?" he asks.

"What? Of course I can. Why wouldn't I be able to see you?" I say with that whole "Are you stupid?" look on my face.

"Oh, I'm glad. Not many other people can see me very often. Well, America, France and Britain sometimes see me, but more often than not, they just ignore me." he replies.

My eyes go wide. "Those bastards!" I gasp. "That's just not cool."

And a random question from Canada: "Uh… Excuse me, could I use your bathroom please?"

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**A/N: **So there you have it, chapter 1 of my new Hetalia story! It's even written in present-tense. Heheh. Fun.

Review please! I beg of you! Nobody reviews my stories. It makes me sad.


	2. Chapter 2

AH HA. IT'S HERE. HOORAY. Jeez, finally, right? Yeah. ANYWAY.

**DEAR REVIEWERS:** Thank you. Thank you very much. I love all five of you. 8D

**AccessBlade: **YOU. You're awesome. Thanks for the review! I liked it. And yeah, Canada's very neglected, isn't he?

**RabbidFanBoy: **HERO. lol Except it wasn't much of a review, you didn't say anything about the story. Oh well. Thanks anyway! -sparkle sparkle-

**EliteKessu: **Aw, thank you! And it continues from that random question, too! =D

**libertykid: **Thank you very much! I think I know who the next will be, too.

**stabbythings: **Well then, here is your 'more'! Thanks!

Is it a sad thing that 5 is the most reviews one of my stories has ever gotten at this point? It's probably because I never finish them... But I will finish this one! You can slap me if I don't.

Again, reviewers, I love you!

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**My Life Has Just Turned Into One Of Those WTF Moments - Chapter 2  
**

And a random question from Canada: "Uh… Excuse me, could I use your bathroom please?"

All I do is stare at him. "What…? But… aren't you an android or a robot, or something like that?"

"No. I'm a unit."

"And that's any different?"

"Yes."

"OK then. And yes, you can go pee."

"I don't know where it is."

"Oh, right. Follow me then." So I lead him to the hallway and point at a closed door about a meter from where we stand. "Right there."

"Thank you."

"No problem." _Now I should probably read that manual properly._ So I go back to the lounge and pick the little booklet up from where I dropped it and start reading. "OK… Well that's all fine and dandy." I say, reading through the information on the first page. Flicking to the next, I stop. I turn back and read through the information again. "Wait, what? _Length?_ What the hell is… Oh. I get it. But seriously, why'd they have to put something like that in there? The perverts."

"Are you talking about France and Korea?" Canada asks, coming back into the room.

"No, I'm talking about whoever wrote this thing." I say, holding the manual up.

"Oh, OK," He replies as he sits down on the couch. "You have a very big home for just one person."

"I know. My dad moved out and now I'm renting it."

"Oh. But it must get lonely."

"That's why I got Den. You know, the puppy that woke you up."

"Oh, right."

"Hold on a sec, I better find her." I think Canada's quite surprised when all I do is yell "Den! Food!" and she sprints back to the lounge to sit at my feet, waiting patiently for me to get up and feed her.

"Wow, that was… fast." Yup, he's definitely surprised

"Yeah, Den loves food. When you call out her name and add 'food' after it she comes running. It's quite funny, really."

"But she's cute."

"Adorable. She's friendly and loves new people."

"Lucky for me then."

"Yup. Hold your hand out for her, she'll lick it." So he did. When Den saw his hand she looked at it curiously, then up at him, then back at his hand and she licked it, which made Canada giggle. "See?"

"I like your dog." he smiled.

"Yay! I like her too!" I smiled back at him. "Hey, Canada?"

"Yes?"

"Are there any Unit-thingies that I should be worried about? You know, if they arrive?"

"Russia, Belarus, South Korea and France. And maybe England if he turns up and tries to cook something. And Switzerland if he gets angry and tries to shoot something. And especially Prussia. He's just… difficult. And probably Poland. He's kind of, well, flamboyant, so to speak."

"I hope you realize that I have never heard of Prussia, and don't know what any of the others look like. Nor do I know what they're personalities are."

"Uh, well, Russia's really scary. Actually, I think the only two people that aren't scared of him are Belarus and Ukraine."

"So, are they both pretty brave?"

"No, only Belarus. Ukraine is… well… She cries a lot."

"And she's not scared of Russia?"

"No. I mean, why would someone be afraid of their little brother?"

"Brother?"

"Yeah. Belarus is Russia and Ukraine's little sister."

"So Ukraine is oldest, then Russia and Belarus?"

"Yeah."

"So why exactly is Russia scary?" And Canada continues to tell me about the nations I should be careful with if they should ever arrive.

"So that's about it."

"So what you're telling me is that pretty much everyone is insane?"

"Yeah."

"_Wunderbar._" I say with a sigh.

"What?"

"Oh, sorry. It's German. It means wonderful."

"So you speak German?"

"No, I only know a few words, so you don't have to worry about me randomly speaking in German because I forget to speak in English."

"Ah, OK. Do you know any languages other that English?"

"No. Only basic Japanese phrases, random words of German and French colours. Although, I do know how to say hello in a whole bunch of languages."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Can you tell me which ones?"

"OK, but I have to think."

"That's OK."

"Right, let's see… English, Maori, Japanese, Samoan, Cook Island Maori, French, Lithuanian, Polish, Italian, German, Estonian, Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, Finnish, Latvian, Vietnamese, Mandarin Chinese, Fijian, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Korean, Esperanto… And I think that's it."

"That's a lot! How do know all those?"

"I looked them up. Some I've known since I was like, 15 or so, and others I've learned since then."

"And how old are you now?"

"20."

"You look a lot younger than 20."

iOf course not, I'm too short to look 20, dammit./i "Oh, you flatter me, Matthew." I laugh. He blushes and I think, iShouldn't it be the other way around...? I think he's just easily flustered./i

The phone suddenly starts to ring and makes poor Matthew jump. I smile and get up to answer it. "Hello?" I say.

"_LEE!_"

"Hey, Jess!"

"_What are you doing right now?_" she asks hopefully.

"Um..." I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to answer that. I mean, I'm not going to say, "i_Just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with the Canada Unit that's sitting on the couch, playing with my puppy._/i" am I? No. Didn't think so. "Grabbing a yoghurt." I reply, opening the fridge.

"_So nothing important?_"

"No, not really."

"_Then I'm coming over. I have a new anime I want to show you. I just bought it yesterday._"

"Ah, but... You... I... Why can't I go over to yours?"

"_Because I like your house! It's big._"

"Uh huh."

"_So I can come over?_"

I hesitated. What would she think if she saw Canada sitting on my couch? "How long do you think you'll be?"

"_About half an hour. I have to get dressed and have a quick shower first._"

"You're still in your pajamas?"

"_Yes._"

"But it's after 11am."

A small pause. "_What's your point, Lee?_"

"Uh... That it's late morning and you're incredibly lazy?"

"_So?_"

"Never mind."

"_OK. So I'll see you in about half an hour?_"

I sigh. "Fine."

"_Yay! Bye, Lee!_"

"See you, Jess." I say, putting the phone back on the hook. "Oh crap."

"What's wrong?" Canada asks, nearly giving me a heart attack.

"What are you, a ninja?"

"No."

"Good. I don't really need you ninja... ing... around the house, giving me a heart attack every time I turn a corner." I say. I groan, just remembering the conversation I had two minutes ago over the phone. "Oh my God! Canada! You have to hide for a few hours!"

"Why is that?"

"Because my best friend is coming over and she can't know about you or... something bad will most likely happen."

"Uh... But where?"

"I don't know! That's the problem. Oh, wait! But maybe she hasn't heard of Axis Powers Hetalia, and she has no idea who you are!"

"And if she does?"

"Then I'm screwed."

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CLIFFHANGER. BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ugh. Canada's too talkative. HE IS OOC. NOT GOOD. I will... _hopefully..._ improve on that._ HOPEFULLY. _Yeah.

Oh yeah, by the way, the house Lee lives in is basically just my house. I'm not very creative, obviously. XD

I'll try to update this a little faster next time.

Bye guys!

-NZPavlova


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